Blog

Financial Intimacy: Why Talking About Money Feels So Hard communication couples intimacy relationships Mar 11, 2026

A couple I worked with had been together for six years. They shared a bed, a lease, friends, and holiday traditions. They had never once had a real conversation about money.

He paid for groceries and dinners out. She covered takeout. They each bought their own plane tickets and split the rest of th...

Continue Reading...
Can an Online Sex Class Help Your Relationship? communication couples sex class Nov 23, 2024

An online sex class won't fix a relationship. Nothing you watch on a screen will.

What it can do is give two people a shared language for something most of us were never taught to talk about. That's worth more than it sounds.

What a class gives you that talking alone often doesn't

Most couples do...

Continue Reading...
4 Simple Phrases That Help You Feel Closer to Your Partner communication couples intimacy relationships Oct 06, 2024

You're both in the kitchen at the end of a long day. Someone's scrolling, someone's loading the dishwasher. Nobody's fighting. Nobody's really connecting either.

Moments like that are where closeness quietly drains away, or quietly builds. And a lot of it comes down to four phrases:

  • I love you.
  • ...
Continue Reading...
How to Talk Dirty When You Feel Awkward About It communication couples pleasure Aug 03, 2024

Most people who tell me they "can't do dirty talk" aren't short on desire. They're short on practice.

The words feel strange in their mouth. They hear themselves say something sexy out loud and want to disappear under the covers.

That's normal. Dirty talk is a skill, and every skill feels clumsy a...

Continue Reading...
3 Common Relationship Dynamics (and How to Change Them) communication couples relationships Aug 02, 2024

You text. They reply three hours later. You text again. They go quiet. Now you're anxious and they're annoyed, and neither of you is sure how you got here.

That's a relationship dynamic: a pattern you fall into together, again and again. Not one bad night. A loop.

I've been working with couples si...

Continue Reading...
Keeley Rankin in HuffPost: Sex and Relationship Advice communication desire pleasure relationships Jul 17, 2024

The questions people are embarrassed to ask out loud are the ones I care about most. Since 2016, HuffPost reporters have brought a lot of them to me.

Here's every HuffPost piece I've been featured in, grouped by the question it answers. Find the one closest to yours, read it, then try the small ste...

Continue Reading...
10 Relationship Needs Worth Talking About communication couples relationships Jul 11, 2024

"It just wasn't right." I hear that all the time about relationships that ended. When I ask what "it" was, most people can't say.

Often, "it" was a need that went unmet, sometimes for years, and never got named. If you don't know what you need, you can't ask for it. And if you don't know what your ...

Continue Reading...
How to Help Your Partner Open Up: 7 Gentle Ways to Start communication couples intimacy relationships May 06, 2024

You ask how they're doing. They say "fine." You ask again, a little more gently. They change the subject, or pick up their phone, or go quiet.

You want more closeness. And the more you push for it, the further away they seem to go.

If that's where you are, you're not alone. And there's good news: ...

Continue Reading...
Your First Sex Class: What to Expect (and What to Ask) communication intimacy sex class Feb 22, 2024

Sex classes have changed a lot. For a while there was a class in San Francisco called "Eating Pussy Like a Champion." And yes, they had a live demo.

That's one end of the spectrum. Most classes are nothing like that, and mine is at the other end entirely. If you're curious but nervous, here are str...

Continue Reading...
Fear of Intimacy: Why You Pull Away When You Want Connection communication intimacy relationships Oct 25, 2023

"We're seeing each other, but it's not serious." "I'm not into labels." "Let's keep it casual."

Sometimes those sentences are exactly true. Plenty of people genuinely prefer casual relationships, or a lot of time alone, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But sometimes they're cover. The person s...

Continue Reading...
14 Ways to Stay Sexually Connected as a Couple communication couples desire intimacy Oct 04, 2023

Keeping sex alive is one of the hardest parts of a long-term relationship. It's also one of the most common struggles I hear about.

And yet some couples stay sexually connected for years. What have they figured out?

In my work with couples, I see the same things show up again and again in the ones...

Continue Reading...
How to Bring Back Desire in a Long-Term Relationship communication couples desire Sep 27, 2023

A letter in a Guardian advice column has stayed with me for years. A 63-year-old man, married for 45 years, wrote that he still loved his wife but no longer felt sexually attracted to her. It had faded slowly. He noticed other women, felt guilty about it, and had never acted on it. He had tried erec...

Continue Reading...
1 2 3