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You're having a lovely evening. Then your partner makes one comment, maybe about the dishes, maybe about your mother, and suddenly the person you adore feels like the enemy.
My late teacher and mentor, John Welwood, had a way of explaining that moment that changed how I see relationships. It's in a...
How many times have you been poked by someone you love? And how many times have you poked them, without meaning to?
Most of us could make a long list. I've been thinking about this through an old story, the fable of the porcupines.
The fable
The idea goes back to the philosopher Arthur Schopenhau...
A good book can do something a session can't: it sits on your nightstand and waits for you.
These are the books I recommend most often, alongside my one-on-one work and The Sex Class. Some are about sex. Many aren't, at least not directly. They're about attention, kindness toward yourself, and how ...
The people who come to me often feel somehow unfit for love. Their bodies don't match what we've been told is attractive, and somewhere along the way they decided love was for other people.
Yet somewhere inside them is a part that badly wants a different answer.
That's why I keep coming back to De...
These days, so much attention goes to porn videos. But have you thought about erotic graphic novels?
My guess is no, because many folks haven't.
What I love about this kind of erotica is that you enjoy the turn-on with your eyes in a very different way than with a video. You're still looking at bo...
"Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process."
~ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed"You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it."
~ Elisabeth KĆ¼bler-Ross and David Kessler, On Grief and Grieving
The book that found me
The words in Perfect Love, ...
Some poems you read. This one you feel in your hips.
Jewel Mathieson's "We Have Come to Be Danced" is a call to stop performing for other people and move the way your body actually wants to move. Not the polished, please-pick-me version of ourselves, but the wilder, more honest one underneath.
I c...
So often, we need a little break. A break from work, our relationship, our family, or just from life.
Many of us can't (or don't want to) pack up and leave our lives. Yet we do need moments of retreat, release and rejuvenation.
See if, right now, you can sit quietly. Allow your body to settle, and...
Some years ago, I met up with a dear friend for dinner on the East Coast. It had been a few years since we'd connected; he's a very busy person. That year, he'd been working on a PBS documentary about intimacy, traveling the world and interviewing the Dalai Lama.
Of course, I was curious. "What hav...
Did you know you have something called a "core erotic theme"?
Jack Morin wrote this insightful book for anyone who wants to understand themselves better sexually and dig into what turns them on, and why.
The Erotic Mind challenges a lot of accepted ideas about what makes for great sex. It explores...
