Blog
I've been a guest on more than 40 podcasts, talking about desire, fantasy, lasting longer, sex clubs and how couples actually stay close. Here are the conversations, grouped by topic and newest first within each group.
Latest: The Secret of Erotic Blueprints To Revive Your Marriage, Stronger Marria...
"I don't know what's wrong with me. Everything works fine when I'm alone. But with her, I don't know, it's like I'm broken."
I hear some version of this from men over and over. Many of them seem to be sitting on top of the world: successful professionals, in relationships, well put together. To an ...
When a man comes to me about what happens in bed, he rarely starts with the mechanics. He starts with how it feels: the dread before, the replay after, the sense that sex has become an exam he keeps failing.
I've been doing this work for more than fifteen years. Sometimes these struggles point to p...
"Am I a sex addict?"
People ask me this more often than you'd think. Usually quietly, and usually with a lot of shame attached.
Sometimes the honest answer is: you have a high sex drive and someone made you feel bad about it. Sometimes the answer is: something has gotten out of your hands, and you...
Most men who find me have already tried the internet. They've read the lists of home remedies, bought the spray, done the kegels, thought about baseball. And they're still finishing sooner than they want to.
So let's start somewhere else: with what you can actually practice, on your own, this week....
"Is it normal that I finish this fast?"
It's one of the first things men ask me, sometimes before they've finished saying hello. The honest answer: sometimes yes, and sometimes it's worth working on. Here's how to tell the difference.
Finishing fast once in a while is normal
Plenty of things make...
I hear a version of it often in my practice: a woman describes a man she genuinely likes, enjoys talking to, trusts, and somehow doesn't feel drawn to sleep with.
When I dig into it, kindness is almost never the problem. What's missing is that she has no idea what he wants. He's so careful not to i...
Search for help with finishing too soon and you'll find pills, sprays, creams, exercises, and a lot of confident advice from people who have never sat with a man going through it.
These are the questions I hear most often, answered as honestly as I can. I'm a sex coach, not a doctor. Where a questi...
For years, I got calls from men all over the world who felt doomed to finish too soon forever. Most had tried everything they could find: sprays, numbing creams, herbal remedies. None of it had given them what they wanted.
I had spent years developing a way of working with this in my sessions, and ...
There's a moment, a few minutes in, where it feels really good and you're not yet worried. Then it tips. Pleasure keeps climbing, and so does the voice saying "careful, careful."
Step 4 is about living in that first moment longer.
What this step is
Your sweet spot is the range on your arousal sca...
For most men, sex happens in about three square inches. All the sensation, all the attention, all the pressure, right there in the penis.
No wonder it builds so fast. Step 5 is about giving it somewhere else to go.
What this step is
The last step is letting your arousal spread beyond your penis a...
"I go from nothing to about to come. There's no in-between."
I hear some version of this from men all the time. It feels like a switch. It almost never is. There's an in-between; you just haven't learned to see it yet.
What this step is
Step 3 is learning your curves. You track two things on simp...
