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When a man comes to me about what happens in bed, he rarely starts with the mechanics. He starts with how it feels: the dread before, the replay after, the sense that sex has become an exam he keeps failing.
I've been doing this work for more than fifteen years. Sometimes these struggles point to p...
Most men who find me have already tried the internet. They've read the lists of home remedies, bought the spray, done the kegels, thought about baseball. And they're still finishing sooner than they want to.
So let's start somewhere else: with what you can actually practice, on your own, this week....
"Is it normal that I finish this fast?"
It's one of the first things men ask me, sometimes before they've finished saying hello. The honest answer: sometimes yes, and sometimes it's worth working on. Here's how to tell the difference.
Finishing fast once in a while is normal
Plenty of things make...
Search for help with finishing too soon and you'll find pills, sprays, creams, exercises, and a lot of confident advice from people who have never sat with a man going through it.
These are the questions I hear most often, answered as honestly as I can. I'm a sex coach, not a doctor. Where a questi...
For years, I got calls from men all over the world who felt doomed to finish too soon forever. Most had tried everything they could find: sprays, numbing creams, herbal remedies. None of it had given them what they wanted.
I had spent years developing a way of working with this in my sessions, and ...
There's a moment, a few minutes in, where it feels really good and you're not yet worried. Then it tips. Pleasure keeps climbing, and so does the voice saying "careful, careful."
Step 4 is about living in that first moment longer.
What this step is
Your sweet spot is the range on your arousal sca...
This article has been updated and combined into a newer post.
Read the updated version: Premature Ejaculation: Your Questions Answered
For most men, sex happens in about three square inches. All the sensation, all the attention, all the pressure, right there in the penis.
No wonder it builds so fast. Step 5 is about giving it somewhere else to go.
What this step is
The last step is letting your arousal spread beyond your penis a...
"I go from nothing to about to come. There's no in-between."
I hear some version of this from men all the time. It feels like a switch. It almost never is. There's an in-between; you just haven't learned to see it yet.
What this step is
Step 3 is learning your curves. You track two things on simp...
Next time you're close, notice your butt.
Most men who finish early are clenching: the anus, the pelvic floor, sometimes the thighs and belly too. They don't know they're doing it. And that squeeze is pushing them toward the finish line.
What this step is
I call this step the "anal breath." It's ...
Watch what your breath does the next time you get turned on. For most men I work with, it speeds up, goes shallow, or stops altogether, right as things get good.
That held breath is where Step 1 begins.
What this step is
Step 1 is slowing down and feeling your breath. It sounds too simple to matt...
It's over sooner than you wanted. Again. And before you've even caught your breath, the first word out of your mouth is "sorry."
If that moment is familiar, this page is for you. It's the hub for the way I coach men who finish sooner than they'd like: what's going on, why it happens, and the five p...
