Blog
I've been a guest on more than 40 podcasts, talking about desire, fantasy, lasting longer, sex clubs and how couples actually stay close. Here are the conversations, grouped by topic and newest first within each group.
Latest: The Secret of Erotic Blueprints To Revive Your Marriage, Stronger Marria...
"I don't know what's wrong with me. Everything works fine when I'm alone. But with her, I don't know, it's like I'm broken."
I hear some version of this from men over and over. Many of them seem to be sitting on top of the world: successful professionals, in relationships, well put together. To an ...
A good book can do something a session can't: it sits on your nightstand and waits for you.
These are the books I recommend most often, alongside my one-on-one work and The Sex Class. Some are about sex. Many aren't, at least not directly. They're about attention, kindness toward yourself, and how ...
The questions people are embarrassed to ask out loud are the ones I care about most. Since 2016, HuffPost reporters have brought a lot of them to me.
Here's every HuffPost piece I've been featured in, grouped by the question it answers. Find the one closest to yours, read it, then try the small ste...
"Am I a sex addict?"
People ask me this more often than you'd think. Usually quietly, and usually with a lot of shame attached.
Sometimes the honest answer is: you have a high sex drive and someone made you feel bad about it. Sometimes the answer is: something has gotten out of your hands, and you...
Keeping sex alive is one of the hardest parts of a long-term relationship. It's also one of the most common struggles I hear about.
And yet some couples stay sexually connected for years. What have they figured out?
In my work with couples, I see the same things show up again and again in the ones...
A letter in a Guardian advice column has stayed with me for years. A 63-year-old man, married for 45 years, wrote that he still loved his wife but no longer felt sexually attracted to her. It had faded slowly. He noticed other women, felt guilty about it, and had never acted on it. He had tried erec...
I originally wrote this piece for xxTALK, a program that brought women together to talk about their bodies and pleasure. xxTALK is no longer online, so here are the ideas I most want you to have.
Picture hiking up a mountain. The trail feels good, you're climbing, and then near the top you start go...
I hear a version of it often in my practice: a woman describes a man she genuinely likes, enjoys talking to, trusts, and somehow doesn't feel drawn to sleep with.
When I dig into it, kindness is almost never the problem. What's missing is that she has no idea what he wants. He's so careful not to i...
Recently a reader wrote in:
I very much enjoyed your article, 10 Things Sexually Connected Couples Do. My biggest question is around emotional intimacy in long-term relationships. What role does emotion have in long-term sexual satisfaction? Can emotional closeness be a part of the seduction?
— ...
This post is from April 2020, written in the first weeks of the Covid-19 lockdowns. The lockdowns are over, but the three practices below still work for any couple who spends a lot of time under one roof. For more on keeping desire alive, see The Sex Class.
In times like these, with the changes the...
There's so much pressure on all of us to be amazing in bed.
Movies show us impeccably made-up actors falling gracefully into bed, fitting together easily and climaxing at the same time, all without smudging their mascara. Magazines tell us over and over how to wow him and have more intense orgasms....