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"I can live for two months on a good compliment." – Mark Twain
Complimenting someone is one of my favorite things to do. If I see something I like about a person, I just say it right then and there.
Even people who have a hard time taking compliments love it when someone notices something spec...
I originally wrote this piece for xxTALK, a program that brought women together to talk about their bodies and pleasure. xxTALK is no longer online, so here's the heart of it.
If sex has started to feel like the same script every time, you're not alone. Your go-to moves are a relief when you're tir...
"Is it normal that I finish this fast?"
It's one of the first things men ask me, sometimes before they've finished saying hello. The honest answer: sometimes yes, and sometimes it's worth working on. Here's how to tell the difference.
Finishing fast once in a while is normal
Plenty of things make...
At the start, you couldn't keep your hands off each other. You talked for hours. The sex was hot and frequent, and your partner's habit of alphabetizing the spice rack seemed adorable.
Then, one day, it didn't.
That's usually how people describe the end of the honeymoon phase. And the question I h...
Many people in relationships twist and contort themselves around their partner and forget about the things they want.
Often this happens right at the beginning of a relationship, in what's called the merging phase. Once the merging phase ends, the things you want that are different from your partne...
It's hard to know when it's time to ask an expert for help with your relationship.
Romantic relationships naturally go through ups and downs, and it's just plain hard to stay sexually connected over the years. Sometimes it's a rough patch and you'll figure it out. Other times, you need help from a ...
I hear a version of it often in my practice: a woman describes a man she genuinely likes, enjoys talking to, trusts, and somehow doesn't feel drawn to sleep with.
When I dig into it, kindness is almost never the problem. What's missing is that she has no idea what he wants. He's so careful not to i...
Recently a reader wrote in:
I very much enjoyed your article, 10 Things Sexually Connected Couples Do. My biggest question is around emotional intimacy in long-term relationships. What role does emotion have in long-term sexual satisfaction? Can emotional closeness be a part of the seduction?
— ...
This post is from May 2020. BetterSexEd.org has since closed, and I now write here on my own blog. For my current work, start with The Sex Class or browse the latest posts on the blog.
Seven years ago, I was driving across the Golden Gate Bridge when I picked up a call from one of my best friends, ...
This post is from April 2020, written in the first weeks of the Covid-19 lockdowns. The lockdowns are over, but the three practices below still work for any couple who spends a lot of time under one roof. For more on keeping desire alive, see The Sex Class.
In times like these, with the changes the...
There's so much pressure on all of us to be amazing in bed.
Movies show us impeccably made-up actors falling gracefully into bed, fitting together easily and climaxing at the same time, all without smudging their mascara. Magazines tell us over and over how to wow him and have more intense orgasms....
This article has been updated and combined into a newer post.
Read the updated version: Paris Sex Club Coaching: Before and After Your Visit
