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Why Can't I Orgasm? My Article for xxTALK communication desire pleasure Aug 17, 2023

I originally wrote this piece for xxTALK, a program that brought women together to talk about their bodies and pleasure. xxTALK is no longer online, so here are the ideas I most want you to have.

Picture hiking up a mountain. The trail feels good, you're climbing, and then near the top you start go...

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How to Give a Compliment That Actually Feels Good communication couples relationships Jul 17, 2023

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." – Mark Twain

Complimenting someone is one of my favorite things to do. If I see something I like about a person, I just say it right then and there.

Even people who have a hard time taking compliments love it when someone notices something spec...

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Sexual Experimentation: My Article for xxTALK communication couples pleasure Jun 16, 2023

I originally wrote this piece for xxTALK, a program that brought women together to talk about their bodies and pleasure. xxTALK is no longer online, so here's the heart of it.

If sex has started to feel like the same script every time, you're not alone. Your go-to moves are a relief when you're tir...

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When the Honeymoon Phase Ends: What Happens Next? communication couples relationships Feb 22, 2023

At the start, you couldn't keep your hands off each other. You talked for hours. The sex was hot and frequent, and your partner's habit of alphabetizing the spice rack seemed adorable.

Then, one day, it didn't.

That's usually how people describe the end of the honeymoon phase. And the question I h...

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How to Ask for What You Want in a Relationship communication couples relationships Oct 05, 2022

Many people in relationships twist and contort themselves around their partner and forget about the things they want.

Often this happens right at the beginning of a relationship, in what's called the merging phase. Once the merging phase ends, the things you want that are different from your partne...

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Do We Need Sex Therapy? 7 Questions to Consider communication couples relationships Jan 12, 2022

It's hard to know when it's time to ask an expert for help with your relationship.

Romantic relationships naturally go through ups and downs, and it's just plain hard to stay sexually connected over the years. Sometimes it's a rough patch and you'll figure it out. Other times, you need help from a ...

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Nice Guys, Speak Up: Asking for What You Want communication desire men's sexual health relationships Sep 22, 2021

I hear a version of it often in my practice: a woman describes a man she genuinely likes, enjoys talking to, trusts, and somehow doesn't feel drawn to sleep with.

When I dig into it, kindness is almost never the problem. What's missing is that she has no idea what he wants. He's so careful not to i...

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What Do You Want to Feel During Sex? communication desire intimacy May 11, 2020

Recently a reader wrote in:

I very much enjoyed your article, 10 Things Sexually Connected Couples Do. My biggest question is around emotional intimacy in long-term relationships. What role does emotion have in long-term sexual satisfaction? Can emotional closeness be a part of the seduction?
— ...

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Your First Sex Club: What to Know Before You Go communication couples pleasure May 14, 2019

Going to a sex club for the first time can be exciting as well as nerve-wracking. Seeing people live (and not on-screen) delighting in the pleasures of the flesh can be hard to fully prepare for.

When I first started exploring the sex club and swinging world years ago, I definitely remember feeling...

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The First Relationship Question I Ask My Clients communication couples personal relationships Mar 13, 2019

There's one question I want answered in the first session with every new client:

"What makes you difficult to be in a relationship with?"

It tells me a lot about how this person's relationships have been unfolding, and where we need to start.

How self-reflective are you?

This question gives me a...

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3 Online Dating Tips to Keep You Grounded communication relationships Jan 04, 2019

In my practice, I talk with clients often about dating, especially online dating.

I've had the pleasure of seeing so many new relationships bud and people fall madly in love. I've also seen dating go all wrong. We never know when our person will show up, but how we put ourselves out there can make ...

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The Orgasm Trap: When Chasing Climax Gets in the Way communication couples intimacy pleasure Dec 29, 2017

For a lot of us, sex doesn't "count" unless there's an orgasm. Both people have to finish, right?

It's so normal that it's become a habit. And like a lot of habits, it can quietly take over your bedroom.

I love orgasms. I'm not here to talk you out of them. But when the orgasm becomes the whole po...

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