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How to be a good lover - amazing lovers are made, not born Feb 18, 2015

How to be a good lover - amazing lovers are made, not born.

The reality is, amazing lovers are not automatically born into amazing lover status. Someone taught them how to touch, kiss, lick, grab, and hold. Every day I have conversations with people; clients and friends alike, that are concerned...

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Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last When They Speak Up Feb 12, 2015

I hear it quite a bit in my practice, “He is really nice, I like talking to him, but I don’t want to fuck him.” How do you find the balance between being a nice person, and being a fuckable person; how do you cross the bridge from being someone women are not interested in...

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Passion: Find It and Keep It Jan 25, 2015

Passion: Find It and Keep It

Remember the beginning of your relationship, all those feelings of passion? You were lustful and excited about getting to know the other person. You stayed up all night talking endlessly, and a mere look or slight touch turned you red hot inside. You felt alive, with...

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Compliments: The Power of Compliments and how to give them Jan 24, 2015

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain

Compliments: The Power of Compliments and how to give them

Complimenting someone else is one of my favorite things to do. If I see something I like about a person, I just say it right then and there. Even the people...

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Sexless Relationship? How Did We Get Here? Living Like Roommates. Dec 16, 2014

Sexless Relationship? How Did We Get Here? Living Like Roommates.

The term “sexless marriage” gets a lot of attention, but often, relationships are “touchless” long before they get labeled as sexless.

I was watching a movie, Le Week-End, the other day. It is about a...

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Let's Rebrand Foreplay Oct 02, 2014

Let’s do it! Right here, right now, let’s forever change what we refer to as “foreplay” to something else. Let re-brand foreplay to more accurately represent the sex acts for what they are. First off, it’s all play. Sex is, at its finest, adult play. It is how us...

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To Flirt Or To Fuck? Aug 27, 2014

When I was asked to present at the event, Master the F Word: Flirting, my first thought was “What do I do when I flirt with someone?” The answer was simple: I imagine myself fucking them. From this idea, I ran an experiential with the group, giving participants instructions to talk to...

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After The Honeymoon Phase Jun 09, 2014

Most of us have listened to stories from friends or experienced the typical arch of a sexual relationship. You start out with a burning lust and desire for the other person; it feels so good to be with them and everything they do turns you on. The sex is frequent and fulfilling. Your needs feel...

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Too much of a good thing? When Self-Reliance Backfires May 12, 2014

Many of us are brought up to believe self-reliance or individuality is one of the most important personal qualities to cultivate. And it is. But there is a flip-side to having too much self-reliance that can work against people, hindering personal growth and bonding in both short-term and...

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Asking For What You Want In Relationships Apr 18, 2014

Many people in relationships twist and contort themselves around their partner and forget about the things that they want. Often this happens right in the beginning of a relationship, called the merging phase. Once the merging phase ends, the things you want that are different from your partner...

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Men: The Effects Of Childhood Bullying On Intimacy Later In Life Apr 14, 2014

Men being bullied is such a huge part of the boyhood experience it is seen as normal. A punch in the arm from a friend, wrestling to see who’s stronger, a dog pile. Some might say that is just how boys are. Sometimes, I hear stories from men who had parents that encouraged them to be...

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Desire Reboot Apr 04, 2014

We recently ran across an article in the Guardian where a man asked:

“I am 63, and have lost sexual attraction for my wife of 45 years. I still love her but this has been a progressive issue. I feel bad because I find other women attractive, and have battled with it since youth. I...

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